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Horror is a genre for people who are comfortable with going against the grain. Society values conventionality and tends to favor conformity as a way to encourage an individual’s regression to the mean. As a byproduct of that value system, society punishes individuals who fall outside of rigid boxes by name-calling, shaming, and bullying. Just watch what happens on a playground or in a traditional classroom to a kid who looks a bit different, feels a bit different, believes differently, or comes from a different background; it’s frightening.

As a balancing act, horror works as a pressure relief valve for those of us who don’t feel at home in the prefabricated box of convention. Conformity is oppressive by its very nature, and out of the depths of that oppression, we “the Nightbreed” cheer for Jason Voorhees and other underdog champions in our likeness where we find them.

In defense of this unprovoked rant, I recently found myself in an argument regarding the merits of a public school education. To summarize the entirety of the debate, it was an argument about conventionality. The person I was quarreling with was in favor of a traditional public education, whereas I came to the defense of more progressive forms of education employed in Nordic countries. In terms of measuring the quality of an education, she seemed to weigh it by an individual’s content recall, and I made a case for critical thinking – an individual’s ability to evaluate and employ information. Both measures call for different forms of education, and both forms of education might be successful for different kinds of people. In general, she tends to be a more traditional person who agrees with the principles of conformity, and I tend to bite my thumb at formalized systems.

Coincidentally, I listened to a podcast later that day that happened to discuss Confucianism and Taoism, which is essentially the same discussion. The funniest thing about that is that I first learned about Eastern philosophy in my public school education – and likely even did well enough on a test to demonstrate my supposed comprehension of it – but listening to the podcast was like hearing about both philosophies for the first time. My content-regurgitation education left me without any meaningful takeaways from those ideas.

Anyway, as I was thinking about this traditionalist friend of mine and the ways in which we share the same stage on Earth, I remembered a catalogue of experiences growing up where I was made to feel “other-ed.” And as I think of the kind, diverse, and off-beat but wonderful people I’ve bumped shoulders with at horror-punk shows and horror conventions, I think it’s important to remember that we’re all perfectly OK just the way we are – strange haircuts and all.

So, in the words of AC/DC, “If you’re into evil, you’re a friend of mine.”

Keep it spooky,

-HvW

And now for something different...

The Countess and I find ourselves in the midst of a quest to sell our little castle in the hills in exchange for a home with a few more square feet – something with extra space for our little goblin to run around in. As we do our due diligence to learn more about how the housing market works, I thought I would share a few pointers we’ve picked up along the way. We can start this discussion with the scariest thing of all: the looming housing market crash.

What is a Housing Market Crash?

Let me begin by saying that you’re reading advice from a guy who writes horror for a living. Just tuck that away in your back pocket for now. But, also, let’s acknowledge that that is how unforeseeable a pending housing market crash is in 2019 – even my opinion might have some merit at the moment because nobody can predict anything with any certainty. Nonetheless, the smell of a crash is in the air.

So, what is a housing market crash? It’s a few things. It is when there are more houses on the market than there are interested buyers who have the buying power to purchase those houses. The reason buyers can’t purchase those houses tends to boil down to one or several of the following factors:

• Rising house prices
• Rising interest rates
• A lack of income
• Excessive property taxes
• Debt and bad credit (i.e., student loans)

In combination, when buyers can't afford to buy houses, sellers must lower the asking price of their home. The reason this can be problematic is because if someone bought their house for $400,000, and then they can only sell it for $320,000, that means they have to continue to pay back $80,000 towards their loan, even though their home is not worth that much. If someone MUST sell their home for whatever reason and is forced into a situation in which they have take on a substantial loss, it significantly impacts their quality of life and their ability to find a new home that meets their pragmatic needs (i.e., location, space, etc).

All of this is a way of saying, you really don’t want to overpay for your home by buying before a market crash, or you might be in a position to take on a substantial loss. You also might want to sell your house before a housing market crash to gain top dollar for your property.

Will the Housing Market Crash in 2019?

Again, your guess is as good as mine. Thinking critically about it, a housing market crash tends to occur after years of strong appreciation with low interests rates (we’re on year 8 of that right now). When the market crashed in 2008, we had 10 years of boom before about 5 years of bust.

Side note: Appreciation means the value your home gains while you own it. Very generally, you can imagine that a home gains about 3% in value per year.

Side note: Interest rates affect the amount of money you owe back to the bank on your mortgage (i.e., loan). For example, if you wanted to buy a $400,000 home, and interest rates were set at 4%, that means you would owe the bank $416,000. Therefore, it is best to buy with low interest rates. Sometimes, interest rates are lowered to stimulate the market, but they’ve been at historically low levels and can’t go much lower. They’re bound to go up. As they go up, so does the money you owe the bank for the same house. Today’s interest rate is 4% but some estimates suggest it will go as high as 5.8% by the end of the year. At that rate, your $400,000 house now costs you $423,000.

If history is any indicator, we are likely moving into a housing market crash. And we will likely see the affects of the crash across the United States working from the coasts then inland. San Francisco will be the first bubble to burst, probably along with Miami and other coastal cities. Places in the Midwest will feel the effects, but at a lower volume in intensity and duration.

So, now that you know what to look for, and you can imagine that a crash is suggested to come in 2019 or 2020, we can talk about how to protect yourself from its effects.

Establishing a Price Range:

To know how much you should be looking at in a house, you need to know how much money you can afford to spend in a month. That requires making a budget for how much money you spend on all of your various forms of insurance, groceries, gas, car payments, phone bills, etc. Then, you need to calculate in the cost of cable/internet, electricity, gas, and water. You should also be saving about 10% of each pay check. Once you calculate all of that stuff, now you know how much you have left to spend per month for a home payment (which is actually a few things… you’ll see in a second).

…Keep in mind that the previous calculations don’t include emergency things or other smaller things like pet food, vet trips, going out to eat, buying clothes… any of that stuff.

Your monthly payment is not just for the property of the house. It also includes a payment of about $150 in insurance (depending on where you’re buying and the size and cost of your house) and then a lot of taxes. If you have a townhouse or live in a community, you need to factor in an extra $200-$400 per month for Homeowner's Association fees as well. And that’s why you need to be cautious with a townhouse (sidenote: they usually have lower property taxes).

So, let’s say you realize that after budgeting everything (including electric, water, gas, cable, etc…), you have about $2,000 to spend on a house, now you know what you can afford based on house price combined with taxes. A $350,000 house with $12,000 in taxes is SIGNIFICANTLY more expensive than a $400,000 house with $8,000 in taxes. You’ll have to break out the mortgage calculator online a few times before you start to see what the right nexus is for you based on house price and taxes.

You also need to keep in mind that you will put down 20% of the total home cost up front. So, if you want a $350,000 house, you have to have $70,000 ready to go. Yes, there are options to do a smaller down payment but DO NOT do it. If you do, you have to pay an additional mortgage insurance that's not tax deductible and it jacks up your month-to-month payment. Just do 20% down. Don’t consider anything else. But, also remember that I’m a horror writer and everything I’m telling you here is outside of my knowledge base.

Also, don’t put down more than 20%. For every $10,000 you put into your down payment over 20%, you save yourself about $40 a month in mortgage. Not worth it. Keep that $10,000 invested in something else.

So, to tie this all together, figure out what your monthly budget is, and then try to find the most house you can get for the least amount of taxes. Understand that whatever the taxes are for a house, they’re based on what the house was last appraised for. So, if you see a house listed at $400,000 and only $7,000 in taxes, you might find that the taxes are based on being last appraised at $350,000. It’s a trap. Those taxes will jump up once you buy a house at $400,000.

Establishing a Location:

You want to be somewhere where you won’t be inhibited in your daily life and routine. Believe me, when there’s an extra 15 minutes tacked onto your travel time, it changes what you want to do and how you want to do it. So, be cautious about where you elect to live. You can calculate this ahead of time using various driving apps on your phone, and I suggest you plot out your typical destinations at different times of day to account for traffic and weather fluctuations as well.

Schools are important. Sure, you might not have kids yet or even while you live in this house, but with good schools, your house will always be in demand. You don’t want to find a house that is great for now, but that you’ll never be able to sell again because nobody would want to raise a family there.

Review crime rates and sex offenders in the area. Don’t live where there’s crime or sex offenders. Bad for you, bad for the community, bad for resale.

Is the House Priced Right?

There are a few ways to figure this out. First, most apps like Zillow and Redfin have house value estimators, but they’re not always reliable. Don’t put too much weight into that. Instead, look at houses sold in that exact area over the previous 6 months. Are they higher or lower, and what is the state of those houses? Variables include the number of bathrooms, the square footage of the house, the amount of land, the taxes on the home, whether or not a house is updated, hardwood floors – things like that. You might find a house priced higher, but upgraded. Therefore, you should expect to pay less for a house you’re interested in that does not have the upgrades that its neighbors had when they sold for more.

If you need to update the house you move into, you can expect to pay about $20,000 to redo a kitchen and about $10,000 to redo a bathroom. It’s about $10,000 to put in hardwood floors. Don’t put so much into a house that you price yourself out of a resale value. This brings me to the next (and probably most important) point:

$/square foot ratio. Remember, homes generally increase in value by an average of 3% for every year they’re owned. That’s not always true, but it’s a general figure to go by. So, assume that a house was bought for $200,000 in 1999 and was maintained well. In 2019, that house should be worth about $320,000. More than that is generally inflation that’s not real; it’s just buying high. Sometimes, somebody can update their home so much that they put more money into it than it’s worth. Imagine a $200,000 house with 24 karat gold kitchen counters. You might think the house is now worth $1,000,000, but it’s not. It’s still worth about $200,000, give or take.

The best calculation for figuring out how much the peak of a home is worth (assuming it’s updated and nice), is to find out the median dollar per square foot that homes are sold for in that city over the previous 6 months. Let’s say in Some City that the median house dollar per square foot is $225. Then multiply that number by the square feet of the house. For example, take a 2000 square foot house in Some City, and it should sell for about $450,000. If they have it priced at $500,000 and it’s gorgeous, well, unless they have a huge yard, they are about $50,000 over what that house is actually worth. You’d be paying $50,000 in inflation that would disappear in a bad market. You don’t want to do that.

You can, however, take a 10% hit on the median value. So, for a $225/square foot median value, 10% of that that is about $22. Add that for a total of $247 per square foot multiplied by the square foot of the house. That’s $494,000 – not bad. So, if you’re going to be 10% over the median price, then it better be a fully updated home.

The Hidden Costs. You have to know what you’re going to be paying for when you take ownership. Sure, you’ll pay to paint and change some things around here or there. But, what about the HVAC? What about the water heater? What about the roof? External wood paneling that needs treatment? The status of those things impact the offer you make, because you can ONLY get about $5,000 in credit once an offer is made and accepted. Ask about that when you see the house.

Narrowing Down the Search:

It probably feels impossible to figure out where you want to live or how to narrow down the amount of available houses. Here’s the first step: figure out the location first by schools, crime, and distances to places you use (e.g., jobs, Target, a grocery store, Walgreens, or your friends if you have any).

To really narrow it down, figure out what your deal breakers are. For example, I would NOT consider a house without a basement. So, that made it very easy to look at a house and to see if it included a basement even before I considered the pictures. No basement, I look no further. You might find you do the same about walk-in closets, an attached garage, or any number of other things. Of course, you might need to be realistic about how many deal-breakers you can afford to have in your price range.

If your house has all of your deal-breakers, next is time to see if you like the look/feel of the house with what is updated and what is not. Will you update that which needs updating or leave it as is? If it’s still in the running, then the most important thing to consider is the layout of the floor plan. Where will you be spending the majority of your time in the house? Don’t have wasted space, because you’re paying for it in square footage and in property taxes. But, keep in mind that you will need room for storage.

Conclusion:

-HvW

I want to acknowledge the passing of a horror legend: John Carl Buechler. You might not recognize his face, but you'd recognize the horrible faces he created in his career as a special effects make-up artist, director, producer, writer, and even as an actor. I know I especially appreciate his contributions to several of my favorite movies including "Friday the 13th: Part VII: The New Blood," "Ghoulies," "Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers," "Hatchet," "Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master," "Re-Animator," and "Troll," amongst so many others. 

His battle with cancer and passing has left his family with abundant medical bills. Please consider making a donation to help his wife and three children. Even a little bit goes a long way.

Thank you, and keep it spooky,

-HvW

I am honored to report that Screams Before Dawn is now listed as a new release at Horror-Punks.net!  If you're not familiar with who or what they are, it is the ultimate site for any and all news related to... you guessed it... horror punk!

If you like the Misfits or Blitzkid or Argyle Goolsby or Nim Vind or the The Rosedales or Calabrese or Stellar Corpses... there's no better place to be.  Make sure to check them out!

As they say, "Long live the horror!"

-HvW

I'm excited to announce that Screams Before Dawn is now available as an eBook. Check it out on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Keep it spooky,

-HvW

In celebration of J-sin Trioxin's 40th birthday, Mister Monster will be performing one final time along with a special performance by a resurrected Blitzkid. Argyle Goolsby will be playing with the Roving Midnight both nights, and Goolsby will even be doing a second set with the Hollow Bodies on Sunday! Other special performances include The Cryptkeeper 5!

June 29th and 30th at the Debonair Music Hall in Teaneck, NJ!

The first night already sold out, but there are still a handful of tickets for Sunday the 30th!

I can't tell you how excited I am to be going to this. I'll be there both nights, and I hope to see you there!

Keep it spooky,

-HvW

Writing a story is an act of faith. I understand that some writers outline their narratives before they begin them. But, when I’ve taken that route, I find myself bored by the actual writing of the story because there aren’t any surprises left for me to uncover; if I know where I’m beginning and where I’m ending, then all that’s left is to enjoy the ride. But, if we’re honest, the ride is hunching over a keyboard and glaring at a blinking cursor that hasn’t learned a new dance move since the 80’s.

Stephen King writes. He dives into a story and lets the process figure itself out. I’ve always been more intrigued by that idea. Let’s go into a bar where we’ve got some unsightly characters and some escalating tension and see how it all shakes out. I’m curious.

But, Stephen King also notes that his ideas come in the form of “cups” and “handles.” And, what he means by that is, he’ll get a theme or an idea that’s not enough to carry a story on its own. It needs a “handle” – the characters or the twist or the purpose that completes the project.

In that way – playing matchmaker – the ride becomes a train through uncharted territory where, for all you know, the gravity is different on the other side of the window. You have to pay attention to find out. Even still, though, sometimes that train takes you to a bar with unsightly characters and escalating tension, but the only action is the characters yelling about how much they agree with one another.

So, writing is an act of faith. You dim the lights and pour the sacramental wine – maybe even play your favorite hymns to fit the mood – in hopes that you’ve set the stage for something meaningful to happen. Sometimes it does. Sometimes it doesn’t.

I’m working on a story right now that I’ve written and rewritten three times. It seems that no matter what, that train takes me to the most unremarkable and forgettable destination I’ve ever seen. Whatever image that conjures up for you, go with it, but picture it again in monochrome.

Don't let good stories get killed by happy endings! Read my thoughts about it on Jeyran Main's website!

Keep it spooky,

-HvW

I was very close with my grandfather, and when he passed, I sought out a way to contact him. The recommendation was to wait at least three days before trying to find a way to reach him. But, I was impatient, and I wanted to get through to him that night.

I first started by attempting some kind of self-hypnosis protocol (as pretentious as it sounds). In all, the process lasted close to an hour. It began with progressive muscle relaxation and evolved into a stated intention of openness to see and hear from spirits or beings or others who might help to facilitate a meeting with my grandfather. Stating such a large intention was naive.

The only success I can speak of in regard to the self-hypnosis was that I was confident I had contacted something, even if it was not my grandfather. I never saw whatever it was, and I never heard anything externally the way one typically encounters sound. But, it was as if the empty study I was occupying had become crowded. My mind, too, felt very busy with noise. Alas, no objective contact had been made with anything supernatural, and I decided to take the process a step further.

I proceeded to the next room where a large mirror hung on the wall. I repeated my intention and stared at my reflection in the darkened room. I was reminded of old encounters with the Bloody Mary of my childhood nightmares, but she never showed up then or now. Though, something was different about the experience of looking into a mirror in a dark room in the middle of the night as an adult; it had an tone of seriousness that had been absent decades ago.

At first, the mirror was unremarkable. But, gradually, my reflection began to change – as if my face were transforming into other faces. Some were older; some were younger. It could have been my eyes playing tricks on me or an illusion of the unlit room. But, paired with the sense of unease I had in my gut and the overwhelming sense that I had not been alone since the hypnosis experiment, I suddenly wanted to stop. I needed to stop.

I turned from the mirror and closed the ritual the best I could and attempted to make my way back to my bedroom in the basement. In consideration for everyone else in the house who was not awake in the middle of the night, I left the lights off. Navigating the shadows was easy, knowing every nook and cranny of my childhood home. But, I still could not shake off the overwhelming sense that I was not alone. I had the sensation of being stuck in a crowded hallway despite being by myself.

I made my way down the stairs in the dark convinced that someone or something was hanging its head next to mine, speaking to me even if I was refusing to hear it. Upon finding the basement, the sensation intensified – not just one disembodied head whispering at me, but many. With the hair rising on the back of my neck, I stopped in my tracks and announced, “I am going to go to a bookshelf, pull a book from the shelf, and place my finger on a sentence or a cluster of words. Let those words reveal you to me.”

I walked towards the wall and placed my hand against it to keep track of my place in the mostly barren basement. I walked forward to where I knew a bookshelf rested against the wall. Upon finding it, I did as I had proclaimed. I reached for a book, placed my finger somewhere within it, and then made my way back towards the lights where I could read what I found.

My finger was placed in the center of one sentence from a random page of Kerry Cohen’s Loose Girl. I wish I could say the words came from Bram Stoker’s Dracula or any other classic work of horror instead, but Loose Girl was the book I selected, and I have not altered or added any details to this story to portray anything other than what happened. With that understanding, I read the words underlined by my finger: “we are the dead.”

This is the story behind the story of “Things in the Attic.” You can read an excerpt of it on Sandra’s Book Clubblog website here.

Keep it spooky,

-HvW